The toilet is NOT a compatible iPhone accessory

So last night shortly after midnight I went to the bathroom (as one might after a night of drinking)...not remembering that my phone was in my back pocket, I managed to accidentally drop it directly in the toilet (because people so often purposefully drop their phones in the toilet). When I pulled it out the screen had the message "This accessory is not compatible with the iPhone" Hilarious. Hilarious enough that I felt like I needed to take my dunked phone around the bar and show everyone. Turns out, people don't like to touch phones that have recently been in the toilet.

In celebration of the day we blew up a Disney Princess gingerbread castle in the parkinglot. It actuality it was not the pricesses castle, it was the dick monsters castle who lures you into his lair with all the pretty princesses....and then eats your dick. You've gotta watch out for the dick monsters.

We set off a firework in its center right at midnight and then lit trash on fire it its center afterwards until the sides of the building caught fire. In the end someone had to jump on it to actually "destroy" it....